CoronAmerica and the Karenist Horde

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2020. Oof!

A Mindful Disclaimer for Actual Karens

American Karenism

Karenist CoronAmerica

The COVID Truth vs. American ‘Ronapendance

2020. Oof!

What a year! One hundred years from now perhaps the history books will tell of the “Oof!” pandemic of 2020 in the same section where they reference the 1918 Spanish Flu. Time will tell.

Before we start this party please pause with me. And… for a moment… clear your head.

I want you to release yourself from the burden of considering political parties as we move further in this piece. It’s unnecessary. The things I’m going to explain aren’t exclusive to any party, and my purpose in explaining them isn’t to attack your political views.

I know it’s a big ask, but please try. You see…

The coronavirus doesn’t check affiliations… and the Karens of this world aren’t stuck on just one side of the political aisle either.

In fact, the Rona and Karen are both making ruckus for everyone in our country… and, I will add, in a uniquely unAmerican American way. You see, Rona is fueling Karen and Karen is fueling Rona too.

For the survival of our nation in the face of the Rona: we must stop the Karenist hordes!

A Mindful Disclaimer for Actual Karens

I realize that Karen stereotypes are offensive to many good people with that name and I can empathize with that a bit. It’s unfortunate. Personally, I know at least two cool Karens in real life that are nothing like the memes (got one on my C.R.E.A.M. page!).

I’m sure there’s more awesome Karens than just the ones I know too.

So, up front, my disclaimer to all Karens and any others whose names I will throw all around herein, overgeneralize for the purpose of stereotype and satire, and roast a bit too, perhaps, needlessly:

If you’re not in on the jokes maybe you’re the stereotypes that they’re about. Just sayin.

The purpose of attaching a name to Karenisms and such is to call out something we experience… that should be called out… because it needs to be addressed… or maybe just to make fun of it because it should be made fun of.

We gotta have a name for it. It is what it is.

Just like folks are familiar with the Karens of the world, let’s be clear, that’s not the only name we besmirch.

Stereotypes get traction because people can see the truth in them. Stereotype can be a form of comedic anthropology of sorts. People propagate stereotypes about all sorts of things. They unite us in humanity, in a way, for better AND worse.

Stereotype and prejudice are not always the same thing, although sometimes stereotypes’ function is upheld purely to inflict prejudice. In any case, I like the idea of naming certain things so we can all reference them.

Regardless of the nature of the stereotypes out there, they exist. We can all acknowledge that…

… and let’s not be coy about our stereotypes and the “real names” they take on in America.

Over the years I’ve heard the use of Opie, Becky, Cletus, Dilbert, Beavis, Butthead, Chuck Norris, Alfalfa, Buckwheat, Leroy Jenkins, Buddy, Rambo, Gomer, Biff, Meg, Jerry, Homer, shiiiiiit, we’ve definitely attached stereotypes to Uncle Tom on a whole other level, and apparently to Aunt Jemima, and Barney Fife, and “Leave it to Beaver” (as a name), Tonto, Jose, Chang, Habeeb… and I’ve heard people of all colors say names like Shanene or Deebo to describe certain kinds of stereotypes too.

Most of those are vanilla examples if we’re keeping real. Just sayin.

We do it across races and within our own races too.

Some stereotypes are viewed the same universally, some are clearly reflections of our prejudices, viewed differently between subcultures. Most offend someone for one reason or another, but we all (don’t lie, you do it too) laugh at some stereotype or another in the courses of our lives.

It’s hard to tell at this point whether I’ve seen more Karen memes or “bye Felicia”s. Doesn’t matter, most I’ve seen have been equally entertaining to me, although for starkly different reasons.

There’s many more names pigeonholed by slang stereotypes, obviously, than I’ve mentioned here, but you get the idea. Across races and political lines we all do it. We call each other names. It’s what we do.

For women actually named Karen, though, I have good news and bad news:

The bad news is that there is no hope for the future of your name if we as a society aren’t successful in ousting Karenist behaviors at some point, once and for all. I mean, the name Fart clearly fell of trend at some point. I’ve never met anyone named that. By the way it sounds, though, so phonetically simplistic, Fart wouldn’t stink as something to call someone if there weren’t some other reason not to name kids that, right? Fartholomew?

The good news is we can change that future and make it safe for Karens everywhere to hold their heads high again one day, unashamed of their names.

I call on all Karens to join in ostracizing Karening, so as not to besmirch the good name of Karen ever more. Same goes to those bearing the names of other bad behaviors.

American Karenism

Karenism is a cancer in America more dangerous to it than communism, or socialism, ANTIFA, or any of the political rhetoric du jour. Karenism is a terrorist scourge distorting the meaning of freedom in America every day.

It is a philosophy that asserts one citizen in our country has some authority over another as an entitlement of their freedom.

Karenism is the cultural manifestation of over policing, oppression, and government overreach having become psyche in many peoples’ fundamental ignorance of what American freedom is supposed to mean. It’s like a fight or flight response is leaching our culture.

People of color, with peace and love, Karenism isn’t exclusive to racists. The Karenist ideology is definitely tied to some of the same unAmerican machinations that institutionalized systemic and cultural racism in our country, and black people and minorities are victims of it more ruthlessly and frequently than anyone else in our country for sure. I’m not taking anything away from that.

But Karenism is bigger than any Karen. Heck, Karenism is bigger than racism. It includes racism, but isn’t limited to it. No. Karenism includes not just Karens, but the Kens, the Chads, the Beckys, the Susans, and all the others too. Karens don’t only go after people of color. White on white Karenism happens all the time, constantly, although it usually takes on a different form than the white on color Karenism does for sure.

Karenism is MOSTLY a white behavior in our country because more whites in America feel the sense of entitlement necessary for Karenism to be truly lived. However, I do believe that black on black, gay on gay, religious Karenism, and the like all also goes on too.

Ever watched Uncle Ruckus on Boondocks? Just sayin. His character is a black Karenist. Yes, he is fictional, but IRL he’s out there.

All the isms go back to Karen in America, even Uncle Ruckus’s.

Karens doth protest too much. Yeah, even Shakespeare knew Karen (before there was America).

Year after year we’ve institutionalized Karensim and it has gone unchecked. For an unjudgy country we’re pretty damn judgy of each other. All the liars are the highest, and mightiest. Karen is the moral authority.

Attacks on pro-choice rights and access? Karenism.

Seatbelt laws for adults? Karenism.

Adults can’t buy fruity tobacco? Karenism, bitch… but Karen’s kids are still vaping. She’s a hypocrite.

Racism? EXTREME Karenism. Slavery? Of course! Karen is all about control over others, it serves her privelege.

Your boss asking why you are taking PTO as a condition of approval? Karenism.

Why is it illegal for adults to physically sell sex?

As a Soldier I had the right to voluntarily risk my personal health as a condition of my livelihood. Our freedoms entitle us to put ourselves at risk for the country, for a paycheck. It’s hypocritical of our laws to allow us to risk dying as a Soldier… or in the line of duty as a Cop… as an acceptable risk for us to give to our country… but restricts our rights to risk our own bodies for ourselves. What about we the people?

Prostitution should be federally (and all states) legal. It’s been the gig economy long before the modern age. Why are there any laws concerning what me and another consenting adult agree to do with my own dick?

Karen, that’s why.

Dry County? Karenism.

Recreational cannabis still illegal in your state? Karenism.

Remember prohibition? That was Karenism. Heck, the war on drugs today is still just Karenism, if you really look at it. People who want dope are gonna figure out how to get it, Karen.

And by the way, if we want to find innovators in our society we should harness the drug dealer population. Alot of innovation has gone on to keep whipping the war on drugs’s ass. Just sayin.

The propensity to imprison is am-Karen-can, not Amer-I-can.

Oh, Trump? Grand wizard Karen, and even Pence is married to a Karen and calls her mother. Look it up.

The fictional character Q and his real life cult are a Karenist religion, damn near.

The list goes on and on.

We’ve made so many laws that restrict personal freedoms while commercializing schools, prisons, and healthcare more and more, year after year. I’d hardly call it America as intended by the words of the constitution. Give it a read.

The basic sentiment of American freedom and the inalienable presumption of innocence under law as a right is intended to assert permissiveness of peoples’ personal behaviors as a bedrock value in our culture, one that would only restrict anyone’s freedom to the minimum extent that it infringes on rights of others.

That is the American spirit. You know, freedom, justice, equality, all that.

America was born to escape persecution and rule… yet the Karenist mentality runs rampart throughout our history. The American spirit has been betrayed by the words we’ve codified in its name into laws and policy, and in our culture and behaviors.

We should NOT celebrate Karenism. For the good of America, rebuke it! It has permeated our culture.

What was born as a nation committed to harassing any individual on account as a right only when a crime is alleged, with probable cause on them specifically, and upholding due process with integrity as the cultural standard has devolved to the cesspool of minority reporting that has seemingly normalized today.

Although my use of the phrase “minority reporting” is coincidental to the fact that reporting on minorities is quintessential Karenism, that’s not what I’m talking about.

What I am talking about is the movie Minority Report, which is set in a societal culture that arrests people for crimes they are predicted to do in the future, but are known to have not actually committed at all.

Minority reporting is Karenist in both uses of the phrase. So many rules and laws in America restrict everyone under the auspices of preventing some future crime or right infringement, when in fact the existence of those laws are infringements themselves.

The culture of Karenist mentality among people that is ever growing in America is a result of it being enacted in our laws and regulations in reaction to spread of fear. Karenists are so afraid of the risks in the world that they believe restricting others’ freedoms is the only answer. What’s manifested is real freedom for none, within the law… because too many of the laws are made for AmKarencans, not AmerIcans.

Karenist CoronAmerica

Whoa. That’s a spicy meme, right? We’ve all seen some shit we can’t un-see lately in the era of CoronAmerica. Karenism has been coming out of the woodwork to fan that flame nationwide too. In case that picture doesn’t speak the same thousand words to you, let me tell you what it says to me:

Ultimately, every single person faces their own set of choices they’ll have to make in life regarding their survival of its dangers. Covid doesn’t change that. Government can’t “manage” the people like Karen might want from her place of privilege. No amount of trying to control others will change our mortality in the face of the ‘Rona.

One way or another it is all gonna come out in the wash.

We gotta deal with it in a way that is supporting people on their terms of need, not in a way that takes away their ability to make their own life choices. Each person’s life is ultimately their own. THAT is the REAL American ideal.

What are the limits of government’s authority over individual lives in our nation? Does Uncle Sam own us? Can Uncle Sam order us to do something that will kill us? Can Uncle Sam lawfully restrict us when we’ve committed no crime and are not actually a threat to others?

If Uncle Sam told you you have to go to work right now, and that at work you WILL catch a sickness that WILL kill you… would you go? What if your job is flipping burgers? What if you’re a CEO? Does it matter?

Unless you are a cop, a Soldier, or on death row, in America as intended Uncle Sam can’t require your life.

If Uncle Sam said that if you go outside you will be arrested on sight for disobeying the government’s orders… and you’re healthy… but have no food… and have children and elderly starving to care for… would you go outside to go get food? What if it was TP?

Why stay inside if you’re healthy at all? It’s a waste of a resource and an additional source of need for the system. Right?

Constitutionally, in spirit, citizens are not to be infringed of their liberties without probable cause on them as an individual. The simple existence of the pandemic in the world does not change that American entitlement.

People gotta live. If you’re scared or particularly vulnerable stay home (if you can afford to). The people who would choose to work in the face of the threat is part of the American spirit that would carry our economy. Ordering businesses to close even as we are still doing now DISABLES our countrymen from helping themselves.

It disables our country from helping itself as well as it could because we disabled our greatest power: our people.

We limit America under fear with minority report laws. Even though the Rona is a mortal threat, our country was built on the sweat and lives of men and women courageously in the face of threat.

The Rona is no different.

Blanket ordering businesses to close is Karenist. “Ordering” shelter in place is Karenist too. The idea that the government of “we the people” can restrict us without probable cause on each individual is not American ideology. It is Karenist ideology.

The reality of how we’ve mishandled this pandemic can be traced back to Karenism and reactions to it in America more than anything else.

The COVID Truth vs. American ‘Ronapendance

The Karenist movement has been choking out the idea of American freedom for years insidiously. Perhaps this pandemic will help us to see it all more clearly. There’s gonna be lots of litigation against the government from the people about decisions that have been made by governments in our country during this pandemic.

Ordering people to their homes under threat of legal enforcement who are not sick is a violation of our inalienable rights to life, liberty, and our pursuits of happiness. Whether the supreme court acknowledges it or not, I am right. If they fail to see this truth than Karenism has clearly infected our highest court.

The government’s role is to inform and support people and the economy where there is actual need… not to control the people or hammer us after forcing us into need. We, the American people, don’t take kindly to government control. Just sayin. Duh.

Karen doesn’t consider everyone, only herself. She has no problem making blanket rules for everyone, so long as they are the rules that benefit her. Left and right were BOTH quick to overreach and infringe on We, the People, with “orders.”

And in Karenist CoronAmerica, these kinds of ideas are kerosene and matches for a viral fire hittin us all.

Although I’ve been under no misconception that these measures offer a level of protection to me in this pandemic on par with say a condom, or even the pull out method, as far as probability goes in their risk mitigation effectiveness contexts, I, personally, choose to wear my mask out and about around others (since March 2020), and wash my hands, and have been socially distancing publicly and isolating socially with a small group of folks I’m close with almost wholly outside of things I have to do like work, shop, and take care of my family’s needs to live.

My behavior has been low risk as fuck compared to my pre-rona norms… but…

It is absolutely insane to think that everyone else should do or not do anything special for you all of a sudden, Karen, just because there is a new thing to be scared of in the world. People die every day. Everyone has to make their own choices.

Karen, private businesses can require you to wear a mask even if there was no pandemic, same as public/government buildings. No shirt, no shoes, no mask, no service. This fact is not new as an outcome of the Rona. Don’t like a businesses policies? Don’t patronize them!

Its really no different than if you acted a fool because the business told you you can’t come in without a shirt, or because you refused to adhere to the dress code at your job. Don’t like it? Go somewhere else.

If you have some condition that masks hurt, I understand you feeling mistreated… but still, if I have a bunion I don’t get to walk in stores or go to work barefoot. Just sayin.

With that said, though, what was first Karenist in all of this was the blanket shutdown orders and the entire handling of the economic impacts of that destructive and unconstitutional attack on most Americans’ lives.

Yes, people out in the world might be sick and contagious. Most of them, still so far, are not. We started with an overwhelming majority of our people not sick… and made blanket rules for everyone. It’s myopic.

If one person has the clap, you don’t go around hitting everyone’s dicks with a hammer. You just hit the one. The others still gotta produce. Life must go on.

In America the government’s role is (supposed to be) to support the people, not control them. That concept was lost in the Karenist CoronAmerican great shutdown. The decisions that were made protected the 1%, not the 99%.

99% are expendables to Karen.

Just like a private business can require a mask and people can choose to patronize them or not, so should they be allowed to stay open during times of risk – “essential” or not – and people can choose to patronize at risk, or not. The government’s role is to inform and support people to enable their freedom, not to restrict it.

What’s essential to me may not be to you and vice versa. The idea that the government gets to tell the people what is essential and what is not in our lives is NOT AMERICAN. It directly conflicts with our founding ideology and inalienable rights. It’s a Karenist coup on American values happening right in front of our eyes.

The ungodly sums we’ve doled out to businesses and people who didn’t need it could have been much better used more solely on businesses affected by market changes with things all still open, rather than the close it all and give everyone a stimulus and loans mentality. Total fuckery.

Sweden has been way more “America as intended” than America, philisophically, in their initial response to not shutdown businesses outright because of the Rona. They informed folks of the risks and ultimately acknowledged that peoples lives are in their own hands first. That is the not the approach we took.

Our myopic Karenist CoronAmerican government approach fucked alot of people who are still waiting for our elected 1% cucks to decide how much they might let people have back what they took when the government effectively cancelled their jobs. Seriously, fuck you Karenists.

The first wave of social Karensim in CornoAmerica were the hordes of Karens tattling on non-shutdown compliance or people going to parks (and such) before they were even closed. Parks should never have been closed, just like beaches. We’ve already seen people are gonna do what they are gonna do.

Just like the clap don’t stop people from fucking with or without protection, the only real protection is abstinence. SIP is Karen pushing abstinence en mass. If you don’t fuck, you don’t catch the clap. If you don’t leave the house, you don’t get the Rona.

That approach didn’t last long for Karenist CoronAmerica, but yet the Karenists have persisted in approach by re-opening piece meal inalienable (with an asterisk) rights for the pursuit of happiness to run a business to some people little by little. (AKA phased re-opening, and now, re-closing).

Now the new wave of social Karenists are coming out to show THEY don’t have to follow rules that actually ARE legitimate. If you’re one of those Karenist “rules don’t apply to me” motherfuckers throwin tantrums like a little bitch and startin violence with people at businesses or government buildings trying to enforce their mask policy on customers (or employees) you should be put in jail (as a result of due process), same as you would with no pandemic.